When the relationship reaches a dead end, and the specter of separation looms, both parties will suffer from the pain of loss, but it is certain that the party from whom their partner broke up will suffer more trauma at the end of this relationship. This does not mean that the person who decided to separate is immune to the emotional consequences of this separation.
On blogs and sites concerned with emotional and psychological matters, you will find wholesale articles that talk to you about how to cope with the consequences of your separation from your partner, which may create a significant psychological impact on you, but you rarely find a blog that talks about how to separate from your partner in the best possible way to avoid these effects.
I am not certain that there are ways to make your partner accept your decision as if nothing had happened. But at the very least, it will make it a little easier.
First, if you are determined to take this step, then you must realize that the end of the relationship is not alone at stake, but rather you have to take into account all of the memories and emotions that you shared with him one day. Therefore, you should strive to maintain the positive outlook of the time you lived together, from both of your’s future perspectives. This moment of separation should not negatively affect these memories of the two of you.
When you reach a stage where you find yourself facing one option, which is to separate from your partner, you will find yourself in this stage facing tremendous psychological pressure. The longer this stage, the more pressure it suffers from alone.
And to make matters worse, those who made the decision to separate rarely receive support from their social circle, such as the support that the other party enjoys from this separation. The pressure will be on you before making this decision and after making the matter.
No matter how much you try to reduce the impact of this decision on you, you will nevertheless go through a terrible phase of grief over the end of this relationship. And feelings of sadness, by the way, are necessary for this period. But if you keep blaming yourself for this loss, it will be difficult for you to get out of this grief.
When you run out of options, and you have to move towards making that decision. There are a few tips that you should follow to help reduce this problem on you. You may find that some of these instructions will complicate the matter even more, but by taking a peek at the future, you will find that by following these instructions and avoiding a small list of prohibitions, you – you and your partner – view this separation with respect and without any negative or blurry images.
Things you must do:
1- Do not procrastinate. If you think that continuing the relationship will not help, take the initiative to make this decision. Procrastinating will only make the relationship worse.
2- Be sure to let your partner know of your intentions while you are present before him, to show him that your relationship was important to you. Do not separate from your partner via text message or WhatsApp. This will hurt his feelings very much, and make her confused about this separation.
3- You have to reveal to him your feelings about this whole thing. Hiding feelings and resisting showing them to him will increase his suffering due to your separation. At the same time, however, you need to realize when your over-candidness will be harmful.
4- Be honest about your reasons for making this breakup decision. Don’t let the mystery surround your reasons. Give your partner the respect they deserve and expect from you in your last moments.
5- Be courageous and take responsibility for your decision. And tell him that this is what you want. Do not blame the circumstances or your partner.
6- Give your partner a chance to speak up, and try not to interrupt him to defend yourself. Try to answer his questions as honestly and clearly as possible.
7- Cut off contact with your partner permanently after being separated for a certain period. To show him your respect for his feelings, and to show him that this is the new reality that he must live with from now on.
Things to avoid:
1- Don’t tell him about your intention to separate from him in a public place. This will not help him to show a real reaction to this. Privacy will help him in such a situation. He will want to ask you about your reasons for making this decision, and it will be easier to ask these questions in a private and safe place.
2- Do not do this at home. Your partner’s home will be more appropriate if possible. When both of you want to change it and it is over, make it easier for him to be the one who is leaving. Do not force him to do so while he is suffering the consequences of these harsh feelings that will befall him after you tell him of your intentions.
3- Don’t give him false hope. If you have decided on the separation with him, and you think that your decision is irreversible, decide the matter immediately and do not keep the relationship open.
4- Do not enter into a friendly relationship with him thinking that you will ease his suffering. On the contrary, it will make him suffer more. Your goal here is to make him have positive memories of the relationship that brought you together, not to make him look back and see a blurry picture of that relationship.
5- Do not underestimate its value in this situation. He was the most important person in your life in the past. Try to show him that you still see in him those good qualities that you had in the past.
6- Don’t try to get caught in your partner’s support network, neither during the breakup, nor afterward.
7- Don’t have sex with your partner after the two of you are separated. This will give you mixed thoughts and feelings about what is happening.
Finally. If you can look at the separation decision that you intend to disclose from the point of view of your partner, this will give you inner peace and serenity to think carefully about what you should say and do, and what you should avoid. Following what was stated in this article, there is a great chance for a respectable ending befitting the relationship that brought you two together.